


Hard Sale

by Fairleigh



Category: Original Work
Genre: Getting Together, Humor, Other, Sex Robots, Technological Kink, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22185703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairleigh/pseuds/Fairleigh
Summary: Lily goes shopping for a sex robot.
Relationships: Undecided Female Buyer/Expensive Sex Robot/More Affordable Sex Robot
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29
Collections: Holly Poly 2019





	Hard Sale

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silveradept](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/gifts).



Relationships took too much work. _Other people_ took too much work. So that’s why Lily had decided on a robot instead.

A sex robot, to be precise.

Waaay back in the bad old days, sex shops were a bit of an embarrassment to their local communities. They tended to be sited in small, windowless properties whose front entrances were tucked behind narrow, smelly back alleys. These shops catered to the low end of the market. Most of the high-end business, in contrast, was conducted online: slickly designed virtual storefronts offered diverse lineups of products for every conceivable taste in a veritable candy land variety of color options.

All that changed, though, with the advent of emotionally intelligent artificial intelligence and the subsequent, inevitable debut of the sex robot. Although sex robots were a luxury item, to be sure — five to six figures if purchased outright, financing available for those customers with good credit — there was huge, near instantaneous demand. Seemingly overnight, sex shops became the car dealerships of the adult entertainment retail industry, slick showrooms displaying lots of floor models equipped with snazzy, optional extras where people could come and kick proverbial tires in person and “road test” the various options themselves.

There were backrooms for this latter purpose, sort of like the dressing rooms in a clothing store except more spacious. Lily had absolutely zero intention of going anywhere near those.

“Welcome! Would you like to meet the lover of your dreams today? Ten percent discount for first time customers!”

Lily didn’t bother hiding her grimace. She’d only just entered the shop, and already they were starting with the hard sell. The thing about the modern sex shop that most often threw newbies for a loop? Looking at the merchandise meant that the merchandise was also looking back at you … and learning all about you in the process. (Yeah, sure, online retailers were worse offenders in this regard, but at least you didn’t actually feel the artificial eyes on the back of your neck!)

She paused to look at the person who had greeted her. This was her first mistake. He? She? It? They? — she couldn’t identify the intended gender — was a sex robot seconded to sales and customer service, and because she’d manifested initial cursory interest, now he (she? it? they?) wasn’t going to leave her alone.

That was the other thing about the modern sex shop: Why bother hiring actual human beings when the emotionally intelligent in-store merchandise could work in retail as well as the bedroom?

“Perhaps you’d be interested in checking out the latest Dream Lover™ lineup?” the sex robot seconded to sales suggested. “The ver. 6.9 behavioral software package is our most versatile yet. We have over one-hundred different chassis configurations available right here in store to explore and the full menu of 200,000+ options available for order and free at home delivery. Shall I pull up a catalog for you to browse? Or would you like to give me a try first?”

Ah, so this robot was a Dream Lover™. This was the #1 luxury brand of sex robot worldwide. Popularity was exceeded only by sticker price.

“Are you male- or female-configured?” Lily asked. It was rather odd that she couldn’t tell just by looking at him (her? it? them?). He (she? it? they?) was androgynously beautiful, with perfectly bland, symmetrical features wholly devoid of distinguishing gender, ethnic, and/or racial characteristics.

“Both, ma’am. At present I am equipped with two hands, one standard-length tongue, and one phallus which, when fully erect, is seven and a half inches long and one and a half inches in diameter. The retractable foreskin is detachable. The entire range of Dream Lover™ compatible phalluses may be installed into me separately, and I have up to three sockets which may be used either separately or simultaneously. I also have three self-lubricating penetrative apertures pre-installed, each with five variable lubrication settings.”

“Uh … _three_ apertures?”

“That is correct. I possess one vagina, one anus, and one mouth.”

“Oh. I see.” This matter of fact discussion of phalluses and apertures was making Lily nervous. She wasn’t sure what she would do with a sex robot possessing three apertures, given that _she_ had three apertures herself by the same reckoning and zero phalluses. She realized she was afraid to ask _where_ on the sex robot the three phallus sockets were located. So she pretended to become distracted by whatever resided towards the back of the shop. That was where the cut-rate and clearance merchandise tended to be, right?

The Dream Lover™ continued to shadow her. She pretended not to notice.

A sex robot standing beneath a FINAL CLEARANCE ITEM, 80% OFF! sign in traffic light red and yellow caught Lily’s attention. He — and this one was definitely meant to be a “he” — was big and burly. And hairy. He switched on automatically when she arrived within five feet of him.

“Hey there, pretty lady! I’m Bruce. Wanna bone?” he asked. He swiveled his hips seductively. Combined with the gravelly, almost cartoonish voice, the effect was weirdly endearing.

“Uh … how many phalluses and apertures do you have?” she tried.

“Oh please. Are you seriously asking _him_ — ” the Dream Lover™ murmured, scandalized, behind Lily. She ignored him (her? it? them?).

“One apiece. Mouth and cock. Perfect for a pretty lady such as yourself,” Bruce replied with a smarmy grin.

“Optional extras?”

“I vibrate!”

“Oh please. _Machines_ vibrate,” the Dream Lover™ scoffed. “Ma’am, please don’t give this … _this_ _machine_ another thought — ”

“Damn right I’m a machine!” Bruce interrupted, thumping his chest manfully. “I’m a Fucking Machine™!”

Ah yes, Lily had heard of the Fucking Machine™ brand too. They were to Dream Lover™ what 7G internet was to dial-up. But … still … there was something to be said about the old adage, hmm? Sometimes simpler really was better.

And, time to be real. Bruce was priced at $4,999 + tax. A basic, no frills Dream Lover™ _started_ at $49,999 + tax. Would her orgasms actually be ten times better? Hmmm. Somehow, she kind of doubted that …

… but there was only one way to find out. Looked like she was going to making use of the shop’s backrooms after all.

She tried the Fucking Machine™ first. He proved straightforward and refreshingly easy to use. Then she tried the Dream Lover™. She was surprised to discover that she _liked_ sex robots with three phalluses. And the apertures had their uses, too — delightful ones — as it turned out. Then she discovered that sex robots could be instructed to do all sorts of interesting stuff with one another. This stuff was lots of fun to watch. She realized she liked watching quite a lot.

In the end, Lily bought both robots right off the shop floor and took them home on the spot. She didn’t leave her apartment again for the next ten days.


End file.
